Marriage is one of the happiest happenings in our lives, and marriage creates one the greatest impact in shaping the destiny of an individual. Yes, marriage is sweet, yet it is complex and can create the saddest memorable moments in our lives, if things go wrong.
This is true because marriage is a union of not only two individuals from two different upbringings, cultures, and with different personalities. It requires adapting your essence to that of your partner. It involves a day by day devotion if it is to survive the challenges of life, especially at times when couples have to go out and work to help their family meet up with the challenges of providing bare necessities at home.
But hardly would you find couples working in the same place, at the same time. For many career couples the workplace is not just where they contend with making their professional skills stay ahead of economic and environmental challenges, they must strive to fend off flirtatious advances from the opposite sex.
Most of the time, the workplace is where people look their best. They were the best of their attire – designer suits, fancy ties, pencil skirts, make-ups, imported handbags, and other accessories to keep up with the tempo. They also put up their best attitude. Surely everyone wants to look polished and likeable at the office.
And truly, most couples or people in relationships find or meet themselves during the 8-5 working hours, when their partners look the greatest. If I may ask you, did you meet your partner or got attracted to him/her at night time, or on a Saturday when there are just straight from the bed? I guess not!
This is why for those who are looking for a spouse, the working hours is perhaps the best finding (or if you like hunting) time. But for the married, the 8-5 time possess a lot of challenges or perhaps dangers. Take a woman for instance – she looks very pretty; works all day away from her partner, perhaps in the midst of the opposite; and when it’s time for lunch, she sits at the table with other colleagues – including males – at the canteen.
On the average, career people spend the best of their time in the midst of that “secret admirer” at the office or workplace than with their spouse. We rush home tired, straight to the kitchen and bathroom; catch up with emails and friends on social networks, take dinner and recline into bed with an equally tired spouse perhaps with similar experience at the office.
This daily routine creates avenues for temptations and sexual harassment. As a career person, it is your responsibility to keep your head in spite of these challenges that may arise. It is your responsibility to keep your marriage strong and alive in spite of whatever arrow of enticement that may be thrown at you.
Yes, it is true that your wedding day vow was of remarkable significance; but it is your daily commitment to your marriage alive that matters. It is your determination to keep those vows renewed and kept afresh on a daily basis that will help you stave-off any temptation. This determination is shown in the way we regard each other as a couple and in our commitment to stay devoted to our partner in our dealings with other people.
Here are a few tips to ward off temptations and harassment:
1. Close Every Opening – Defend Yourself:
Some ‘crazy’ and perhaps perverted person at the office may be teasing you and making advances. Yes, he/she is crazy! But your greatest defense to drive away such intrusion and temptation is to ensure there is no vacuum in your to be filled by any strange partner. In other words, maintaining a rewarding and enjoyable marriage which satisfies the sexual needs of both you and your spouse is key to fighting the lure of going into an affair.
If you and your spouse are missing something in your sex and romance life, please go light the candles again and ignite a fresh fire. Note that, when a woman is on fire for her spouse, no other fire can quench her love.
A wife who is happy and sexually satisfied is known gait in her. This is why the Bible says, ‘The heart of her husband trust in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of (honest) gain or need of (dishonest) spoil: (Proverbs 31:11, AMP)
2. Stop Any Form of Intimacy With The Opposite Sex:
Yielding to sexual temptations that leads to infidelity does not come over night. There is always a beginning. And it usually starts from the moment when a married person starts sharing intimate personal issues repeatedly with a colleague of the opposite sex, instead of confiding in their own spouses.
That “nice” listening ear which is ever open to you could soon become a shoulder to lean on, and a bosom to lie on. People are bound to make mistake and feelings of intimacy and emotions are sometimes uncontrollable.
Without mincing words, any intimate association with the opposite sex is an extremely dangerous risk. Besides, it denies your spouse and marriage useful devotion; concentrated attention, time, energy and perhaps sincerity.
Please note that, if you have developed feelings of loneliness, rejection or anger towards your spouse whereas you are ever excited about seeing the “nice” person you constantly confide in, then your fall is approaching. Therefore flee!
3. Be Open With Your Spouse About Your Sexual Desire:
The cause of failure many career marriages is simply poor communication between spouses. Many people assume their partner’s sex needs would be the same as theirs. But this is always wrong. Don’t always expect your spouse to think like you or expect him/her to always know what the other wants without first opening up.
This is wrong and dangerous. It makes one vulnerable to temptation.
When one partner’s sex needs are not met or they feel they don’t get enough of attention, yet the other spouse thinks everything is great and pays no pay attention, the needy partner may easily be lured by someone at the workplace.
Rather than seek support from somebody outside your marriage, which will inevitably lead to infidelity, sit your spouse down and talk with them heart-to-heart. Tell them what you need and how you want. At least you are married.
An unhappy sex life is at home makes a married person more open to temptations and sexual advances from others. This is an unfortunate reality which couples must accept. It is therefore imperative that spouses create quality time for romance and sex, and they must be open to communicate and share their sexual needs to their partners.
4. Define And Set Boundaries To Other Relationships:
An effective way to avoid flirtatious advances at the workplace and avoid unnecessary exposure to sexual temptation and harassment is to define what limits you could expose yourselves to as career spouses.
I recommend as a rule, an essential limit should be to avoid going to lunch or dinner alone with a colleague or associate of the opposite sex. Consuming alcoholic drinks or stimulating foods when your spouse is not present should be completely avoided under any circumstance.
Note that, what you consider as just a meal at lunch time could mean more to your colleague of the opposite sex. This is why seemingly insignificant everyday situations such business trips, official dinners, business parties, field work with team members at the office and other workplace setting are potential opportunities for temptations.
The best precaution would be to avoid any compromising situations that may encourage temptations even if not intended. Don’t worry about what your colleagues may think about your boundaries. It is better to let them know it is your choice and that you and your partner are devoted to keeping your marriage safe.
Besides, is it not better and easier to have these boundaries than contending with a spouse that is suspicious of you? A broken relationship at work is not the same as a broken home. Be wise!
5. Report Advances And Threats To Your Spouse From The Onset:
A lot of people are not strong enough to face intimidation or sexual harassment especially if it comes from a boss or someone who wields authority over them.
With the emergence of new trends in information technology and the use of Internet and smartphones, a lot of sexual harassment now takes place online and via social media. This is called cyber-stalking or cyber-harassment. Here the person been harassed is sent sexually explicit or suggestive messages, photos or videos to either intimidate them or manipulate them to act in a certain way.
If you are ever in this situation, don’t face the challenge alone. If you feel you are threatened by anyone at the workplace, let each other know because such situation could go in a direction which you may not be to handle.
Talking with your spouse about ways to protect your marriage and keeping it strong will help you gain strength and confidence to say no to any prowler. It will help you bolt your heart from amorous and sexual advances. It will keep you safe in case blackmail arises when you say “no” to the strange fellow.
It will also build trust in your home. Remember, trust is that thread which binds marriages together.
I guess by now you should know that marriage is not a bed of roses neither is it sweet romance all the way. Issues will always arise to threaten the peace in your home. But with forbearance and commitment, you would always overcome.
Yes, there are indeed several ways to resolve marital issues, and yielding to sexual temptations is certainly not one of them. If you let yourself fall for the prodding of a strange partner because of lack of attention or commitment from your spouse, that shows too you are not committed to your marriage.
Don’t give-in to temptation. Stand up and fight!